Today Bob and I went out to eat. We never do this, but we both ordered the same thing. Normally, we’ll each order something that the other would like too and we share. (Don’t we sound like an old married couple!) But today, Bob got sick of me ordering the best thing on the menu (the fish sandwich) while he ordered a salad. Boring. So we each got our fish sandwich.
Now I always have this theory that he eats all his food and then eats all mine, not because he’s trying to starve me, but because he thinks we’re getting the same portion because we’re eating it at the same time. However, he eats like one of those dogs that’s possessive of his food. He eats a banana in 3 bites. If I offer him a bite of my mom’s delicious chocolate chip cookies, he takes two thirds of it and laughs when I get mad.
Well, his meal was gone (fries and all) before I even finished the first half of mine. The rest of the time I ate he stared at me/my food with bug eyes just waiting for me to put it down and look away and he’d grab it like an angry vulture that hadn’t eaten in days.(You’d think the boy never eats!) I proceeded to tell him that I wanted all of it and he was in denial. “Yeah, put some sauce on that, I’m gonna want sauce.”
I ate it all and he told me I was a douche bag. Guess that’s what I get for training him that I like to share with him.